Turkish Star Wars (actual title of the 1982 picture: Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam or The Man Who Saves the World) is a mind-boggling film. No one does it like the Turks: This will give all those fanboys quibbling about the proper dialects of Wookie something to think about. These Wookies only speak Turkish, and they don’t even have time to do that because they are constantly getting slaughtered or running around with their arms hanging off the sides of their bloodied torsos.
1981: Audacious filmmakers went out to the deserts of Cappadocia with a truck full of costumes and a few cameras to re-create for Turkish audiences the most ambitious sci-fi film ever conceived. It’s really something.
2012: With the help of translators, musicians and sound designers, Filmusik brings the most intrepid remake ever filmed back to the screen, in English with an original soundtrack.
Here are the top five differences between Turkish Star Wars and Star Wars:
- Decapitations. By my count, Turkish Star Wars has 1,200 percent more decapitations than the entire American Star Wars canon. That’s a per-capita decapitation rate greater than Highlander, and that’s not even counting arms and legs.
- The entire cantina band is replaced by what appears to be a fat man in a green wig and two fuzzy red space-bears.
- The Death Star is explained as a “shield of compressed brain molecules surrounding the Earth.” It makes several appearances, but due to an improper understanding of aspect ratios, it seems to be more like a Death Egg.
- According to our Foley artists (the live sound-effects performers), there are 336 punches, 119 kicks, 52 body falls, 31 saber strikes, 12 eye gouges, three bisections, four spanks, nine amputations and what appears to be labeled on the scripts as a “flying double amputation.”